Breakdown...

I've seen Dr. M for a long time, before I was a mummy, when I was pregnant and after I became a mummy. He sees baby and hubby too so he knows all of us pretty well.

Recently, I kept falling sick. Dr. M must have had noticed that I was at the clinic almost every fortnight and suspected there could be unresolved issues. He kept asking how was baby, how's work, how's our marriage etc. I was initially shocked at his line of questions cause I was just down with fever and flu at that moment.

He mentioned I had always been a cheery girl, full of life and jokes to rhetort in response to his questions but I've seem to grow distant and lack of focus even in our short conversation.

I didn't realize that the floodgates open that and I was telling him that I barely been surviving on 1-2hrs of sleep daily and kept having nightmares, panicking every time baby cries or fall ill, not able to function well at work and recently having wished I was knocked down by a car or could jump off my flat. No desire to talk to anyone even my family or friends. 

Sensing my agitation, he calmed me down and told me to wait for his almost lunch hour and he persuaded me to seek help at IMH. He knew I would not go on my own and graciously volunteered to go with me. I was shocked and greatful at that time that he was so kind to bring me there and even waited to talk to the MO and returned to the clinic without his lunch. 

I was angry at him for corrupting my medical records with this entry but I knew it was for the best..