Its been awhile since I have a good night sleep. Why can't I simply close my eyes and not think about anything? Though my eyes are close, my brain is still actively thinking.. how do I resolve this.. how do I resolve that. The brain is running at high speed preventing rest or is it a defense mechanism to fight out the actual concerns and actual feelings that I have. On days which my brain choose to rest and not churn out brain damaging resolutions it goes into wander mode and my tears flowed. The sight of seing my friend in a box called the coffin gets replayed constantly in my mind, the experience of lost and a constant reminder of the temporary of life. The fear of losing closer love ones such as immediate family strike me cold, life is precious, I want to live it to the fullest but in order for me to do that there are sacrifies which I have to make.
Family and Friends are very important to me. I want to spend more time and cherish the time that I have with them. I wish that many people can see this but some are too busy to pay friends and family any attention. Someone asked me recently, you are willing to spend your hard earned $ just to be with your hubby for a few days even in a peak period. I said, why not ? Dollars and Cents can be earned but having to bear the lonelines and the seperated distance among us can be unbearable and I would rather spend the money just to be by his side. Like I said before, family matters more to me then a job, on top of it I need a spirit uplifter, hopefully this trip will keep my stress level down, keep me well rested and motivated for the coming year ahead.
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