Do Not Disturb Mode

One cool feature of the IOS6 is the "Do Not Disturb" mode which I simply love. Currently, I'm not in an uber chatty mode so my phone is forever in the "Do Not Disturb" mode so when my phone rings its only from the following people; Dad, Hubby, Son School, Son PD, Family GP and my brother.

I filter off the other calls cause I simply don't feel in engaging in any conversation. If work needs me they can find me via email. If other friends needs me they can whatsapp, fb message, tweet or IG me so if recently I don't pick up your call is cause I'm simply not in the mood to talk.

Based on my DISC profile, I'm a High Dominance person and had always been for the past 20years but for me to continuously disregard deadlines disturbs me. What is causing the shift in my focus? There's too much emotions in play now. I'm getting too sensitive and making decision based on emotions. I actually switched off during candidate selection just because I don't like the way he looks. This is definite hazardous behaviour to my career, I've never let emotions rule over me and this is getting to me.

Recently I've been acting pretty childish too, letting myself acting silly around my staff which had probably reduce their respect in me. The sensitive ones asked me if I'm feeling ok cause I'm always the serious one and always chasing them for updates and progress reports but recently I've cut them a lot of slack and they are probably wondering if I had lost my marbles. Like a clown portraying a smiling face but on the inside i'm frowning with invisible tears.

When life deals you lemon you make lemonade, that's how I've been living my life all these years but now... I've no desire to chase the dream. Are we living just for the sake of living ? Isn't the world populated enough? One person lesser would not impact the world much. Why are we prolonging our life if its not enjoyable anymore. Maybe at 34 I've had enough. How much sorrow and pain can one live with?