Earlier today, I started to feel lost and helpless again. My nose have been bleeding too often the past few days and I actually thought that it would be awesome if I just stood there at the sink and let the blood drip and drip. I felt a certain form of pleasure on seeing the pool of blood and I imagined myself lying in the pool of warm B+. The sudden cry of my boy, jolted my system just before the dizziness strikes.
My mind is clouded with so much thoughts and senseless emotions. The irrational me googled how to self hurt myself but the rational me says don't be crazy. I feel hopeless and seem unable to function. I needed closure on so many issues. I have to start somewhere.
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